For days when it’s hard to feel hope-full
Some days it’s hard to feel hope-full.
If you’re struggling with despair at the state of the world, here’s some of what’s been helping me. I hope it can help you too!
Allow your feelings to be there, just as they are.
Which ever of your emotions are coming up, it’s OK. See if you can allow them to be there and to move through without logic-ing them away or shaming yourself, or thinking that you need to be feeling something other than what you are. We can’t control the emotions that show up for us, only how we respond to them.
If we don’t resist or attach to our emotions, they will move through in their own time. There will be waves. Use your breath to help ride those waves as they arise, breathing through the emotions as they come up, or breathing space into wherever that emotion is showing up in your body (check out my YouTube “Breath to soften & release” video). Let the tears flow whenever they arise. As Rumi says, “treat each guest (emotion) honorably. He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.”
Help your emotions move through.
If your emotions are feeling stuck or you find yourself disassociating from your emotions… try listening to and singing with music that matches how you feel (sad, angry, hopeful, etc.) (I was scream-singing to Beyonce’s “BREAK MY SOUL” in the shower) or if you’re feeling fearful or afraid, try listening to music that helps you feel safe (I was listening to Leon Bridges “Peaceful Place” a lot).
Try moving your body to help move the emotions (run, do a cardio kickboxing video online, stretch, jump, stomp, press against the wall with your hands and arms, DANCE), journal & write it out, express it through art (it can just be wild colors on a page), connect with water (baths, showers) or anything that flows.
Keep coming back to the present moment.
It’s so easy to start spinning out and thinking about all the possibilities of scary, worst-case possibilities. We will deal with the future happenings as they arise. When you notice yourself stuck in future thoughts, practice coming right back to the present moment.
Notice your breath, your senses, your feet on the floor, your bottom on the chair, etc. Be present with what you’re doing— feeding yourself or your family or pets, vacuuming, walking, brushing your teeth, whatever it is. Anytime you notice your mind wandering, practice noticing and gently bringing it back to your here and now body/moment/experience. Use an affirmation again and again if you need to. I like saying “present moment” to keep myself on track when it’s hard.
Find & engage with your anchors of love, goodness, beauty, connection, & calm
What helps you feel good, safe, calm, connected?
It might look like a walk to tune into nature as she keeps on keeping on, noticing a sunny patch glowing through the fall leaves, petting your animals who are always in the present moment & feeling their silky soft fur, watching a child or baby being free, remembering your support people and telling them that you love them, feeling the hot water wash over you in the shower or bath, giving yourself a hug or squeeze or getting extra hugs from others, looking at photos of happy times, listening to music, watching nostalgic movies or TV shows, working out because it helps you stay present & in your body, meditating, praying, or connecting to that sense of spirit… find your anchors, engage with them, and practice being present while you do.
Lean on your support people
Even hermits need their people sometimes. There can be a temptation to hide away, to start distrusting, to pull back, to feel separate from. Take care of yourself and your needs, but reach out to your support people as you can. Even if it’s just to say “I love you” or talk about a funny cat video you saw, engage your support system to remind yourself that you are not alone, that we are connected, and we don’t have to hold this alone.
Take care of & be kind to yourself (& others, as you can).
Again, it’s easy to get lost in thoughts and feelings that make us feel lost, separate, & despondent. Practice tending to your needs as best you can— this is the time to lean into feeding yourself well, sleeping extra if you can (our bodies and minds are extra taxed thru these times), making sure to drink enough water, and generally taking care of your body. Please be kind and gentle with yourself through this hard time. Try being kind and gentle as you can with others too, and notice how it connects you to them. We are all part of the same web. If you find you can’t be kind to others, practice stepping away and going back to tending yourself until the space opens for you to be compassionate with others.
Remember your (& the collective) resiliency, perseverance, & fire
Humans have been surviving and persevering through tough times for time immemorial… it’s kind of what we do. Remember the good and beautiful things that still managed to happen in hard times of the past. Remember that this is not the end, but just the next moment. Show up for just one step at a time. One breath at a time. One minute at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time.
Remember times when you’ve felt brave and strong, or you’ve witnessed others being brave and strong (it could be in a movie), or stories you’ve heard about an ancestor of yours, and as you hold onto that time, notice how it feels in your body. Imagine it’s like a seed that you’ve planted & are growing inside your being.
Practice spreading your arms wide, chest open, feet firmly planted, and notice how that feels in your body.
Remember that the flames of perseverance can look different for each of us. For some, they carry the flame of justice, for others, the flame might be protecting others, fierce compassion, fierce Love, fierce belief in the possibility of human growth, or something else. Know that your version of flame adds to the collective fire of growth for us all, and honor how you show up to the world to help us keep going.
We can do this. You are not alone. You are not holding this alone. Keep reaching out to your beloveds and remembering that you are supported and surrounded in Love, even if it’s hard to see sometimes.
With much Love from me,
Kelsey (The Hopefull Hermit)
