A reflection on the DSM

I’ve always hated the medical model in the US

and the idea that to receive services and recognition there needs to be an identified “disorder”,

something “wrong” with us and the way we’re operating.

That we need to be “fixed” to be well.

By whose standards?

I’ve been thinking about that word, dis-order.

If order is straight, tight boxes made by hateful men in power

who deny their own truth and the truth of others,

and who seemingly care not for the impact they have on the world and others,

on themselves…

When those box standards were created within capitalism, patriarchy, racism, ableism…

If that “order” is designed to keep us in our places of acceptance of the way things are,

accepting our disempowerment, our shame, our persecuting of ourselves and others for stepping out of the suffocating box…

Then maybe I want a little dis-order.

For me, and for you.

Maybe I like my dis-order.

Maybe that dis-order is my spirit screaming that the “order” is toxic,

and it’s begging me to wake up, to notice, to feel.

Maybe I want to shake up that order, set it on fire, and watch it burn.

Not to nothingness

and not to harm.

But to freedom.

Freedom of expression

of who we are,

in all our myriad of ways.

There’s nothing wrong with us for having unpleasant reactions to a toxic system.

In fact, there’s so much right.

That’s our internal order, our system, our soul,

shouting, shaking, pleading,

letting us know

it cannot abide

or remain neutral

in the face of toxicity.

That’s our spirit

trying to break free

of these shackles

that have been decided and placed

in our minds, over our hearts

of hate towards ourselves, towards our fellow beings, towards our Earth

in the name of “progress” and “profit” and that always upward pointing arrow.

We made ourselves sick

when we separated ourselves from this earth, from each other,

when we did violence upon this earth, our brothers and sisters, ourselves.

Then we slapped psychology onto that sickness

and called it “order.”

So maybe I am dis-ordered

and maybe that’s a good thing.

Let’s bring more disorder

to the “order” that our bodies and minds and spirits don’t align with.

Let’s make our own order that’s label-less,

An order of love

and accepting ourselves

celebrating ourselves

and our bodymind’s wisdom

for all that we are

and holding space for each other

to Be

together.